Sweet Dreams

I really cannot stand the sound of the two men humping upstairs.  It's unnatural.  I have my ear phones in with the music blasting.  The only downside is when there is a break in between songs.  If you've ever tried to drown the sound of sex, you know what I'm talking about.  AWFUL.

The good news is... I won't have to listen to it for much longer.  I received an AMAZING job offer last week from an ad agency in Tempe, and I accepted, so we move in two weeks!  Goodbye traffic.  Hello nostalgia.  I can't wait to have something to do on the weekends, like hang out with people I love!  Hopefully I'll get a few jam sessions in with my brother.  I've been missing singing.  It unleashes my creativity.

On a romantic note, I'd like to point out that I still LOVE kissing my husband.  Lately, it's been feeling like the first time all over again.  That sensual, unsure touch that erupts into pure passion.  I didn't expect to get that feeling again, but I can't get enough.  He's so handsome.  It's like he understands me more and more every day, which is so sexy.  I fell asleep on his chest on the couch last night, and it felt so warm and wonderful, like I found the perfect resting spot for my head.

Sweet dreams xo

Popular

Well, I know you were concerned... but Luke has been killing it in school.  That's no lie.  He studies more than small babies sleep.  As opposed to large babies, who don't get any sleep.  Because the other babies keep calling them names.  He was just accepted into the Scholar's program at college.  I couldn't have been prouder.  It's crazy to think that just four months ago I was worried that he would fail at school and rejoin the army.  That couldn't be further from my mind now.

Now the elephant in the room is the question of when we're going to move to Arizona.  The plan was originally to only stay for a year and then I would find a job in AZ, and Luke would transfer to another community college.  By the time he transferred to ASU, he'd qualify for residency and in-state tuition as opposed to the exorbitant joke that is out-of-state tuition.  The problem is that Luke has fallen in love with his college so much that he wants to stay the full two years!  If we stay that long, then we'll have to pay out-of-state tuition by attending ASU.  So the part that really scares me is if we decide to stay in California for four years so that we can pay in-state tuition at a UC school.

We took a trip to AZ over Memorial Day Weekend, which was awesome.  I really love my family.  It's a good thing, too!  (Because I'm stuck with them.)  But as often happens, I started crying the day before we left, thinking about how much I'll miss them.  That is the trouble with visiting people--saying goodbye.  When Luke saw me crying, he offered to leave California at the end of the year.  But then we get home, and a couple days later, we find out he's been accepted into the Scholar's Program.  And leaving California is the last thing he wants to do now.  In the long run, will the Scholar's Program help him get a job?  Probably not, but right now it is the world to him.  I never thought that geography would be so important, but I feel like I'm missing out when I'm not around my family and friends.  They bring out the best in me, just like Hellman's mayonnaise.

On a complete side note--I was a finalist for Yahoo's Young Media Star competition.  The two winners got an all-expense paid trip to Cannes Festival in France and $2K, but I lost in the end!  It massively sucked because I won the most votes on the video I made, but the winners scored more points on their essays.  I'll probably regret writing this in my blog, because I'll go back and read this and weep again for my loss.  As my colleague at work said, "At least you're the most popular."  I'll have to remember that when I get a post card from Mike Murphy, sent with love from France.

Doppelganger Day comes early this year

I finally figured out who my Doppelganger is!  This has been troubling me for quite some time... if you recall when this was popular on Facebook on national Doppelganger day.  I finally have one!

Michelle Williams as Alma in Brokeback Mountain (Source:  imdb.com)

Don't forget about me

He started school two weeks ago.  I am really rooting for him to do well.  That's the whole reason why he left the army--to go to college and better his prospects.  It took a while to get here, considering he was in the army for five years, and hated 80% of it.  There's a lot riding on this.  He says if it doesn't go well, then he'll go back into the army, whether that's here or in the UK, I don't know.  And he'll blame me for taking him away from something so secure, that would have allowed him to buy a house and help his family with money. We've not been able to save nearly as much money as we had planned.  Since he started, he's not been the same.  I expected some late nights and frustrated rants, but I didn't anticipate he would spend every hour at home studying.  I didn't think he'd forget about sex.  I didn't think he'd forget to kiss to me when I come home, or even look at me.  I thought he'd at least appreciate what I was giving him, which is basically free room and board while he goes to school.  Somehow I end up being resented instead of appreciated.  He is annoyed anytime I try to be affectionate, because I'm distracting him from studying.

So what do I do?  Maybe you could give me some advice.  I know what you're going to say.  "Be patient.  He's not been in school for ages, and he wants to do well."  The only unfortunate part of that is that I am the least patient person this side of the Mississippi.  There's nothing I hate more than being ignored.  I'm a performer!  I need an audience. 

The Hungry Toddler

I'm 24 years old, and I'm married to a toddler.  Sure, he has the appearance of being a man, with the stubble on his face and hair on his balls, but internally, he is still looking for a tit to suck on.  I would make this argument for just about every man.  I don't mean that men are craving breast milk, nor that they are obsessed with breasts (though they are), but rather am suggesting that a man swaps his mum for a wife, expecting his dinner to be cooked, his clothes to be washed, and his ego to be stroked... along with ravenous sex three times a week.  I can't help but think there's a mother out there to be blamed for the hungry toddler that I've been left to raise. 

I'm sure she blamed the mother of her husband as well.  Every generation of women before us has been better at being a homemaker, with very few exceptions.  And it is unnerving.  My mother is much better at cooking and cleaning than I'll ever be.  Granted, she has had more practice, but the undeniable fact is that she was expected to be a domestic goddess, and so she was.  Our generation of women has been riddled with the possibility that a man could be better at cooking and cleaning than we could.  So the drive to be Susie Homemaker has come to a striking halt.  This, coupled with the fact that we could earn just as much money, if not more, as our male counterparts in the workplace, creates a lack of motivation.

"I wasn't born to cook."

If you've ever muttered those words, you are just as reprehensible as a man.  With the exception of Julia Child, no woman was born to cook.  You learn.  If you can read this article, then you can read a recipe, and as the saying goes, practice makes perfect.  Blah, blah, blah. 

"But why should I have to cook and clean when my husband is perfectly able?" 

One day I will be wealthy enough to pay a professional to cook and clean for us, but until that day, we are stuck in this conundrum.  Who is responsible for what?  If the housework is no longer delegated to the woman, then how do you divide responsibility?  Is it the person who works less hours, or earns less money?  There are still (if somewhat foggy) gender roles in our society, and we are governed by them, whether we allow ourselves to believe it or not.  I do most of the cooking, and my husband takes out the trash.  What troubles me are the expectations that my mother in law has imprinted on her son before I even entered the picture.  I will always fall short of his ideal, because of the generational gap between his mother and me.  Will he ever be as happy with my professional success as he would have been with my support at home? 

Yes, we're moving forward, ladies, but men are not.  Are we happier for it?