The Hungry Toddler

I'm 24 years old, and I'm married to a toddler.  Sure, he has the appearance of being a man, with the stubble on his face and hair on his balls, but internally, he is still looking for a tit to suck on.  I would make this argument for just about every man.  I don't mean that men are craving breast milk, nor that they are obsessed with breasts (though they are), but rather am suggesting that a man swaps his mum for a wife, expecting his dinner to be cooked, his clothes to be washed, and his ego to be stroked... along with ravenous sex three times a week.  I can't help but think there's a mother out there to be blamed for the hungry toddler that I've been left to raise. 

I'm sure she blamed the mother of her husband as well.  Every generation of women before us has been better at being a homemaker, with very few exceptions.  And it is unnerving.  My mother is much better at cooking and cleaning than I'll ever be.  Granted, she has had more practice, but the undeniable fact is that she was expected to be a domestic goddess, and so she was.  Our generation of women has been riddled with the possibility that a man could be better at cooking and cleaning than we could.  So the drive to be Susie Homemaker has come to a striking halt.  This, coupled with the fact that we could earn just as much money, if not more, as our male counterparts in the workplace, creates a lack of motivation.

"I wasn't born to cook."

If you've ever muttered those words, you are just as reprehensible as a man.  With the exception of Julia Child, no woman was born to cook.  You learn.  If you can read this article, then you can read a recipe, and as the saying goes, practice makes perfect.  Blah, blah, blah. 

"But why should I have to cook and clean when my husband is perfectly able?" 

One day I will be wealthy enough to pay a professional to cook and clean for us, but until that day, we are stuck in this conundrum.  Who is responsible for what?  If the housework is no longer delegated to the woman, then how do you divide responsibility?  Is it the person who works less hours, or earns less money?  There are still (if somewhat foggy) gender roles in our society, and we are governed by them, whether we allow ourselves to believe it or not.  I do most of the cooking, and my husband takes out the trash.  What troubles me are the expectations that my mother in law has imprinted on her son before I even entered the picture.  I will always fall short of his ideal, because of the generational gap between his mother and me.  Will he ever be as happy with my professional success as he would have been with my support at home? 

Yes, we're moving forward, ladies, but men are not.  Are we happier for it?